Dear Son,
I just
wanted to give you a heads up that you are going to hate your father and me at
some point. And when that happens, I’m going to smile, because I will know we’re
doing our job correctly. It is our job to be your parents, not your friend. We
are going to set expectations for you. We will expect you to treat others with
respect and dignity. We will expect you to follow rules. We will expect you to
be honest and truthful. We will expect you to always try your best. We will
expect you to be kind. If any of these expectations are not met, there will be
consequences. I don’t know what those consequences are right now, but trust me,
you will be upset and hate us. You will be upset, not at me, not at your father, but at
yourself. Why will you be upset with yourself, you wonder? You will be upset
with yourself because you will know you did not meet the expectations set out
for you, when you know you are more than capable of doing so.
This
may seem harsh and you will undoubtedly hate us once you’re old enough to know
what’s going on. It’s culturally acceptable right now for parents to turn a
blind eye to and make excuses for the things their children do. It’s culturally acceptable for
schools to do the same. It’s culturally acceptable to teach our youth that
there are no consequences to their actions. It’s culturally acceptable to let
our youth do and have whatever they want without earning it. Without even working
for it. Sorry, Kid. This will not happen on our watch. I see what happens to
children who are raised with no accountability or responsibility for their
actions. You will not be one of these children.
I’d
like to apologize in advance for the very hard lessons your father and I will
instill in you. This is just one of the downfalls to having a therapist for a
mom who studies human behavior for a living. I can’t imagine we’ll be popular
parents and your peers may express pity on you. That’s ok. You know why that’s
ok? Because when you are a respectful, kind, compassionate, hard-working,
successful man, you will thank us. (And I will look at those parents who talked about us and whose
children pitied you with the
greatest “Who’s the Bad Parent Now!?” face I can muster up. Just kidding. Not
really.)
Your
father and I love you so much already and only want the best for you. We want
you to be happy, well-adjusted, grateful, loving, compassionate, and
hard-working. These will come naturally to you as long as you meet, and
possibly exceed, the expectations set for you – by us and yourself.
With Unconditional Love,
Mom
