The death of a grandparent SUCKS! I must believe that
the harder it is to accept one’s death is a true testament to our love for said
person. I have lost both my grandmothers.
My Nana Mary was the best. She was
the most nonjudgmental, unbiased, open-minded, and accepting person I could
ever meet. She was classy. I mean, she had true
class. She could walk into a room and all heads would turn. Her scent. Her
style. Her eyes. Her smile. She was a true woman. Her eyes hid all her struggles.
Or did they expose them? Did her eyes show all that she had been through and
yet, somehow, show the world that all would be okay? I learned a lot from that
woman. I learned that no matter the trials and tribulations we go through , we go through them – meaning, we SURVIVE
them. Should we survive the moments we believe are our last; the moments we
feel we cannot go any farther yet, miraculously, we do – we did it! WE
SURVIVED! My Nana Mary taught me not to forget those moments, but cherish them,
for these are the moments that push us forward. These are the moments that
motivate us to be better, stronger, more loving people. Without these moments
we are lost. We are empty. We are self-absorbed, narcissistic shells of a human
being. There is a much greater purpose out there for us and that purpose is to be there for others.
My Nana Trudy was equally as special to me. She had 16
grandchildren yet, whenever I called or visited, it was like I was her only
one. I remember my last words to her: “See you in July!” I was being a smart
ass (shocking – I know). I saw her on Easter and she asked me to stop by
sometime because she loved my visits. I told her I would and that I loved her. She
understood how busy I was. I was working three jobs at the time. Knowing my schedule
would by settling down soon, I jokingly said “see you in July” because I couldn’t
fathom taking time to drive ten minutes to see her. Never in my wildest dreams
would I imagine that July would never come. How could I put work before my
grandmother? How could I justify not taking any time out to see her? I wish I
could remember the last time I spent any quality alone time with her. I believe
I do – but that was well over a year ago and that would just be too hard to
admit.
I hope I am to my grandchildren what these women were to me.
I am who I am because they were in my life. I pray every day that they are
looking down on me and watching over me. I pray they know how much I love them
and miss them. I pray they do not hold any resentment towards me for not spending
as much time with them as I should or could have. I pray they will be by my
side for the rest of my Earthly life until we meet again. And lastly, I pray
they are saying “stop crying, you fool! We know you love us. Stop wasting time
and catch up on your Real Housewives!! We’re having way too much fun up here to
feel sorry for you!”
