My Grandmothers

The death of a grandparent SUCKS! I must believe that the harder it is to accept one’s death is a true testament to our love for said person. I have lost both my grandmothers. 

My Nana Mary was the best. She was the most nonjudgmental, unbiased, open-minded, and accepting person I could ever meet. She was classy. I mean, she had true class. She could walk into a room and all heads would turn. Her scent. Her style. Her eyes. Her smile. She was a true woman. Her eyes hid all her struggles. Or did they expose them? Did her eyes show all that she had been through and yet, somehow, show the world that all would be okay? I learned a lot from that woman. I learned that no matter the trials and tribulations we go through , we go through them – meaning, we SURVIVE them. Should we survive the moments we believe are our last; the moments we feel we cannot go any farther yet, miraculously, we do – we did it! WE SURVIVED! My Nana Mary taught me not to forget those moments, but cherish them, for these are the moments that push us forward. These are the moments that motivate us to be better, stronger, more loving people. Without these moments we are lost. We are empty. We are self-absorbed, narcissistic shells of a human being. There is a much greater purpose out there for us and that purpose is to be there for others.

My Nana Trudy was equally as special to me. She had 16 grandchildren yet, whenever I called or visited, it was like I was her only one. I remember my last words to her: “See you in July!” I was being a smart ass (shocking – I know). I saw her on Easter and she asked me to stop by sometime because she loved my visits. I told her I would and that I loved her. She understood how busy I was. I was working three jobs at the time. Knowing my schedule would by settling down soon, I jokingly said “see you in July” because I couldn’t fathom taking time to drive ten minutes to see her. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that July would never come. How could I put work before my grandmother? How could I justify not taking any time out to see her? I wish I could remember the last time I spent any quality alone time with her. I believe I do – but that was well over a year ago and that would just be too hard to admit.

I hope I am to my grandchildren what these women were to me. I am who I am because they were in my life. I pray every day that they are looking down on me and watching over me. I pray they know how much I love them and miss them. I pray they do not hold any resentment towards me for not spending as much time with them as I should or could have. I pray they will be by my side for the rest of my Earthly life until we meet again. And lastly, I pray they are saying “stop crying, you fool! We know you love us. Stop wasting time and catch up on your Real Housewives!! We’re having way too much fun up here to feel sorry for you!”