Remembering What Matters

Each of us at some point has been forced to look at our lives and reevaluate what matters and what does not. What does matter? A nice car? An updated home? A well-funded 401(k)? Religion? Relationships?

Recently, I have really looked at my life and figured out what matters and what does not. I have a very stressful work load. I currently work three jobs over six days a week and try to sneak in some volunteer work when I can. Just this week I came home after a long day of work and was exhausted. My husband was sitting on the couch. I put my purse down and sat next to him to give him a quick kiss. He then started to lie down to put his head on my lap. I stood up, put my hand up and said, “I can’t do this right now. Can I please have a minute?” I mean, this is my husband and I’m brushing him off? Something is wrong here.

While having my minute, I instantly felt remorseful. How can I give to so many people then neglect those I love most? For example, my brother has been home from college for four days and just today did I reach out to him to schedule a dinner. My friends reach out to me and I can’t see them because I’m either working or recovering from working. My house is a mess. The fridge is empty. What kind of life is this?

I was out of work for a long time. I felt so much guilt during that time while my husband woke up each morning to provide for the fabulous life we have. Now, in my working so much, I felt that I was making up for lost time. I need to work a ton to rebuild our savings and start to contribute financially to our household (and, quite honestly, get my nails done and not feel badly about it).

Now, constantly fatigued and neglecting those closest to me, I’m wondering if it’s all worth it. Getting to do what I love every day is definitely worth-while; however, I love nothing more than my family. Where is the balance? Why work so hard if, at the end of the day, I don’t have the energy to spend time with those I love more than anything in this world?

Learning to say “no” without an excuse is something I’m aspiring to do. As women, we feel the need to people-please. I want to learn how to please only those that I love and love me. I need to learn how to set boundaries for myself. I need to learn to say, “Thank you, but I cannot do that right now” – and leave it at that.

My family is my first priority. Everything else comes second. As I move forward in life and my career, I need to keep this in mind. What’s the point in having a thick retirement account, fast car, and granite countertops if I don’t have my family with me?