A Letter to Our Unborn Son

Dear Son,

                I just wanted to give you a heads up that you are going to hate your father and me at some point. And when that happens, I’m going to smile, because I will know we’re doing our job correctly. It is our job to be your parents, not your friend. We are going to set expectations for you. We will expect you to treat others with respect and dignity. We will expect you to follow rules. We will expect you to be honest and truthful. We will expect you to always try your best. We will expect you to be kind. If any of these expectations are not met, there will be consequences. I don’t know what those consequences are right now, but trust me, you will be upset and hate us. You will be upset, not at me, not at your father, but at yourself. Why will you be upset with yourself, you wonder? You will be upset with yourself because you will know you did not meet the expectations set out for you, when you know you are more than capable of doing so.

                This may seem harsh and you will undoubtedly hate us once you’re old enough to know what’s going on. It’s culturally acceptable right now for parents to turn a blind eye to and make excuses for the things their children do. It’s culturally acceptable for schools to do the same. It’s culturally acceptable to teach our youth that there are no consequences to their actions. It’s culturally acceptable to let our youth do and have whatever they want without earning it. Without even working for it. Sorry, Kid. This will not happen on our watch. I see what happens to children who are raised with no accountability or responsibility for their actions. You will not be one of these children. 

                I’d like to apologize in advance for the very hard lessons your father and I will instill in you. This is just one of the downfalls to having a therapist for a mom who studies human behavior for a living. I can’t imagine we’ll be popular parents and your peers may express pity on you. That’s ok. You know why that’s ok? Because when you are a respectful, kind, compassionate, hard-working, successful man, you will thank us. (And I will look at those parents who talked about us and whose children pitied you with the greatest “Who’s the Bad Parent Now!?” face I can muster up. Just kidding. Not really.)

                Your father and I love you so much already and only want the best for you. We want you to be happy, well-adjusted, grateful, loving, compassionate, and hard-working. These will come naturally to you as long as you meet, and possibly exceed, the expectations set for you – by us and yourself.  

With Unconditional Love,

Mom